Funny Inspirational Quotes

1. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

2. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” – Steve Martin

3. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

4. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

5. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

6. “Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” – Dave Barry

7. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Flip Wilson

8. “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” – Oliver Herford

9. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

10. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” – Unknown

11. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle

12. “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Unkown

13. “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” – Norm Crosby

14. “To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.” – Unkown

15. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones

Quotes About Life

1. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

2. “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” – Cesare Pavese

3. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

4. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”  – Allen Saunders

5. “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius

6.  “Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.” – Irving Berlin

7.  “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”  – Mae West

8. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” – Albert Einstein

9. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  – Abraham Lincoln

10. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” – Mark Twain

11.  “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

12.  “Get busy living or get busy dying.”  – Stephen King, Different Seasons

13. “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others’?” – Martin Luther King Jr.

14.  “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” – Virginia Woolf

15. “My life is my message.” – Mahatma Gandhi

One day life will flash..